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What is a Death Doula?
Much like a birth doula welcomes a soul into the world, a death doula supports a soul in leaving it, with grace, presence, and reverence. My role is not to fix or rush the process of dying, but to walk beside it with calm, clarity, and care. I offer a grounded presence during one of life’s most sacred thresholds, tending not only to the physical changes of the body, but also to the emotional and spiritual journey of letting go. Through personalized rituals, heartfelt listening, and holistic practices rooted in Ayurveda and ancestral wisdom, I help create a space where peace is possible, where the dying feel held, and their loved ones feel supported. Death is not an emergency. It is a passage. And every passage deserves to be met with dignity, softness, and love.
Emotional & Psychological Support
Listening and presence: Sometimes, the most powerful thing a death doula does is just being there to listen, offering a non-judgmental and compassionate space for the person who is dying to express their fears, regrets, hopes, or even anger. This emotional support can help relieve anxiety, fear, and the sense of isolation that many feel in their final days.
Facilitating conversations: I gently help families open space for honest, loving conversations, whether it’s sharing unspoken truths, saying goodbye, or making peace with what’s been held in silence.
Emotional preparation for the family: It’s common for family members to be overwhelmed with grief or uncertainty. I can provide them with tools for coping and offer guidance on how to support their loved one during this time.
Physical Comfort & Care
Pain management: Although a death doula isn’t a medical professional, I often assist by helping manage physical discomfort through comfort measures, like ensuring the person is in a position that promotes ease, and suggesting physical relaxation techniques.
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Breathing techniques or relaxation practices: These can help reduce physical tension, improve breathing, and promote a sense of peace during the dying process.
Gentle touch or massage: Depending on the person’s preferences and needs, I may offer soothing touch or massage to ease physical discomfort or provide a sense of calm.
Spiritual & Existential Support
Spiritual exploration: I support individuals in their spiritual or existential journeys. This doesn’t necessarily mean religious support (although it can be if that’s desired), but may also include helping someone reflect on the meaning of their life, their sense of purpose, or guiding them toward a peaceful acceptance of their death.
Legacy projects: I can help individuals work on legacy projects, such as writing letters, recording life stories, or creating tangible keepsakes for loved ones to cherish after their passing. These projects help the person feel they’ve left behind something meaningful.
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Ayurveda teaches us that the soul continues, and that peace at the time of death ripples into the journey beyond. I can help individuals explore meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding through personalized rituals, reflection, and ancestral practices.
Practical & Logistical Support
End-of-life planning: I can assist in clarifying the person’s final wishes and helping them create advanced directives (e.g., living wills, DNRs). I can also help with making funeral or memorial arrangements and coordinate with other professionals like hospice workers or chaplains.
Documenting wishes: This might involve helping the person write down their last wishes, such as how they want their body handled, where they want to be buried or cremated, or what they want included in their memorial service.
Providing resources: I have a broad knowledge of resources and can offer recommendations for things like grief counseling, palliative care, or legal support.
Supporting the Family
Family education and support: The family members of the dying person often experience intense emotions, uncertainty, or confusion during the dying process. I can help educate them about what to expect during the dying process, guide them on how to best care for their loved one, and support them through the grieving process.
Post-death support: I also offer support after the person passes, helping with the transition through grief, offering guidance on funeral planning, and sometimes providing grief counseling or connecting the family with additional support services.
Advocacy
Patient’s advocate: While I am not typically involved in medical decisions, I can help ensure that the person’s wishes are respected, especially in a hospital or care facility setting. I may act as an intermediary between the patient and medical staff, ensuring the patient’s desires for care align with what’s being provided.
Navigating healthcare systems: I can also help guide families through complex healthcare or insurance systems, helping them understand what services are available or ensuring that their loved one receives the best possible care.
Ayurveda + Ritual
Ancient Wisdom: As both a death doula and an Ayurvedic practitioner, I offer care that is deeply rooted in ancient wisdom. This includes sacred oiling of the body, guided breathwork, legacy rituals, marma, and gentle support for both the physical and spiritual aspects of dying. My work is not only about comfort, it is about helping the soul return home with peace and reverence.
End of Life Support for Animals
Our animal companions are family, and they, too, deserve a sacred and peaceful transition. As a licensed veterinary technician, I provide compassionate, holistic end-of-life care for animals and their humans. Whether your pet is aging, critically ill, or actively dying, I offer guidance, comfort, and presence to support the process with gentleness and dignity.
Services may include:
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Emotional support and education for guardians​
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Creating sacred space for euthanasia at home or in clinic settings
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Gentle touch, oiling, or energy based comfort care
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Legacy or remembrance rituals (paw prints, altars, keepsakes)​
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Grief support for individuals or families after loss
Whether you are navigating anticipatory grief or need support in the final moments, I am here to honor the love, the life, and the bond you shared.
In essence, death doulas are not just about “being there” in the physical sense, but also providing a supportive, guiding presence through the complex emotional, spiritual, and logistical elements of dying. It’s about helping people find peace, dignity, and comfort in their final days, while also offering families the support they need to cope with the transition.
See below for more information about end of life care and choices in New York State.
*A Pennsylvania-based group with valuable resources and support, offering assistance even outside the state.
“Death is not the end. It is a sacred return. You are not alone, you are held.”
-Kim, Golden Thread Ayurveda